I woke up this morning to the shocking, most traumatizing news of Steve Jobs dying. Ironically, it was an iPad app that informed me about the loss. Steve Jobs, the czar of perfection, a great visionary, the person who changed the way we live, has left for his heavenly abode.

I’m speechless and bewildered. Numb. I mean just the other day I was enjoying the videos of iPhone 4S and almost ordered one from a friend. Just the other day I saw Tim Cook, Apple’s CEO showoff Siri, the magical software assistant that will change the way live… And now this? Life is uncertain, everybody says that and every now and then, nature comes and reminds us of that fact.

It’s good to however know that Steve was a person living on today’s my last day principle. That we all know from his infamous Stanford speech of 2005. No wonder after the demise, the family of Jobs released a statement saying Steve died peacefully.

My perception over the years about Steve Jobs made me understand what kind of a person he was. He loved perfection, and that desire to make everything top-notch perfect made him somehow the strong, fearful, dreading Apple leader we know all about. He was hard when it came to being the CEO. But of course he had a soft side. This image is one example.

But more than anything… that man, Steve, had courage, had willpower and I don’t know something special that made him so, so different. He dropped out of college because he knew what he was studying wasn’t worth the tuition fees his parents were giving. He didn’t have money for a dorm room so he slept on the floor in one of the friend’s dorm. He returned coke bottles for 5 cents each and made a living out of it. He took a calligraphy workshop in his college, that was after he decided to drop out, and was fascinated by the art. That calligraphy workshop laid the foundation to perfect text fonts we see today on computers.

After founding Apple, a few years later he was kicked out of his own company. Yes, his own company. He went to found NeXT and the Pixar Animation Studio was born. This Pixar Animation Studio is that studio which animated films for Disney… Lion King, Nemo etcetera. Yes, the credit of all those films also goes to Jobs. In 1996, Pixar was bought by Disney and Steve Jobs became a 7% individual share-holder in Walt Disney, most for any individual shareholder. That time, Apple bought NeXT and there you go, Jobs was again the CEO. And then came the revolution. And revolution after revolution. Whatever Jobs made during his time at NeXT over the last ten years was applied to Apple products. Apple was in somewhat a fix, more of a loser company, but with Steve Jobs’ arrival, everything started becoming awesome. Mac, Macbooks, iMacs, iPods, iPhone, iPad, you name it. And here we are today, mourning his death.

Was he a legend? Of course, he is a legend and will always remain. This, my friends, is a great loss to the industry, great loss to Apple fanboys and a great loss to mankind. Steve Jobs is dead and that too only at a young age of just 56. He had a rare case of pancreatic cancer, something he did recover from a few years back but when he took a medical leave earlier this year, everyone thought what was up. When he came for the WWDC keynote in June, it seemed everything was back to normal but then he resigned from his position as the CEO in August making everyone wonder again.

He continued to be the Chairman of the Apple Board. Maybe god wanted him to make some iDevices in heaven. Rest in Peace sir, you’ll continue to amaze us with what you did. You’ll continue to inspire us with what you did. Rest in Peace.

Keeping the importance of past posts in mind, and keeping the fact how the old stories of users – the updates, important milestones and memories, old photo albums – were virtually going to trashcan, Facebook developed the Timeline; and this time they have been spot-on. The new Timeline as you can see in the pictures – is. really. cool. Really, really cool. At the top is the Cover (see image) which you change as per your liking; your profile picture still stays around. And scrolling down, the timeline covers everything that’s important. It leaves out the not important stuff, using Facebook’s algorithms.

The catch is – you can edit your timeline the way you want. The timeline has a bar on the right showing years. Clicking, for example, on 2008 – will take you to that person’s 2008. And that’s nice. The timeline is awesomely visual, thanks to Nicolas Felton (smart design guy) who Facebook hired to help them design a new user profile.

In Chris Cox’s words who is the VP of Product Development at Facebook consider the timeline as a person’s annual report.

The timeline also bundles up apps (see image on the left) – social apps as Facebook calls them. What are apps? All the games, quizzes, etc. you play on Facebook are apps. But today changes that. There are going to be better apps. Apps for music, apps for TV, apps for books, apps for magazines, apps for cooking, apps for running, and apps for what f’in not.

These new social apps are built around especially for Facebook and it’s really, really cool. I’m sorry using really, really cool in redundant manner, but then the updates seem it’s really, really cool. For the sake of being non-technical, I’m going to take a few examples to explain the apps stuff.

So let’s say you start using an app like Spotify, a music streaming service – awesome way of listening music. Now Spotify is one of Facebook’s partners and has built a seamless canvas app for Facebook. Using Spotify you can stream all sorts of music, online, for free and with its Facebook integration you can share whatever you are listening to with your friends directly in your ticker. This information, if you want, can also go in your timeline. (See video below) So if 5 of your friends are listening to Elvis, the ticker will show they are playing Elvis. Clicking the ticker will let you play Elvis as well. And this kind of integration works with dozens of social apps – movie apps, books apps, news apps, music apps and lifestyle apps – there are all sort of apps.

Such kind of seamless integration has been possible due to Facebook’s update to its social graph, which it now calls the open graph. Let’s not get technical. Big question is, when is all this coming out?

Well, the social apps will be available as soon as the Timeline is available. And the Timeline (in Beta) has slowly started rolling out to small number of users. It will be gradual and expect it the roll-out to go on for a few months before everyone gets a hold of it.

Good or bad, you may ask. Good I say. Timeline is wonderful. However once we start taking a deeper look into how the social apps work, we’ll get a clear picture. We’re not sure how privacy concerning the open graph can go so it could still go the either way. And then the biggest question is about acceptance. Of course Facebook now has 800 million active users and majority of them have invested quite a lot in the service that it’s almost impossible to leave it for a while. But you never know.

The Timeline and this awesome social integration make the cost of leaving Facebook and switching to something else even more heavy. Today changes everything. Today makes Google+, a service which was a strong Facebook competitor until 3 hours ago, look really dumb in competition.

Be whatever it may be, one thing is for sure – with today’s updates Facebook has taken a huge leap leaving its competitors far behind. It’s a nice punch in Google’s face; it’s also showing others how dominating it is in the market now almost becoming THE social layer of the web.

Getting into the details of the match, it needs no rocket science knowledge to understand the significance of this game. Wait, don’t think that the # 2000 makes it that significant, because even if this game was a random match # 1818, it would have had captured as equal hype as it is capturing now.

Why?

It is India, for one. And not just any Indian side but this is the World cup winning Indian side. This is that Indian side which has hung on to the #1 Test position in the world since like what, 20 months? This is the Indian side.

Secondly, India is playing against a refurbished English side which no doubt failed horribly during the world cup but made it all count against Sri Lanka. It’s their home  so of course that will given the English an added benefit making the contest even more absorbing. And finally, it is because of the fans and the critics. Everyone seems to be talking about this; it’s one of the biggest occasions this India v England so of course people will talk but there has been a lot of unsolicited chatter prima facie. And more of that seems to be coming from the western side of the world.

I’ve seen a touch too many English fans blabbing about how they’d beat India. I don’t say it is not normal but then there is something different this time round. Maybe it’s been hard for people to accept the fact that Indians are entering a series with they being the clear favorites. And because India has been doing so for a while now, it makes it even harder for the non-Indian supporters to swallow that fact.

Dare you misunderstand me for  being yet another braggy Indian. No hotshot, I am not bragging. Neither I’m taking the credit away from England. And neither am I over-confident of India winning this. I support India and believe we can win but then, cricket’s funny. England need their share of smile and this might be it. Home conditions, strong bowling line up, and not having the pressure of being favorites or being #1 obviously gives England a certain foundation to host India and beat them. I think this is the best shot England have right now to show their balls.

But then, as we all know, it’s hard to beat India. Specially these days. And that too especially in test matches these days. The batting line up is something we don’t need introduction to. Post-Ganguly, yes it has been hard to replace him but then Yuvraj/Raina/Che/Badri have been making it count, here or there. The bowling isn’t as solid as one would want but there is Zak, there is Bhajji, there is Ishant, Pravin and even Sreesanth. The Indian bowling overall isn’t consistent but given the form the pacers have been in, and keeping the English conditions in mind, I think India will extract the services they need from the bowlers. India looks, as always, pretty pretty solid on paper.

With both sides looking solid, whom would one back? Well I’ll suggest backing India because of the presence of two players – MS Dhoni, Sachin Tendulkar. Let’s take a look down at the memory lane and see Dhoni’s progress as captain. Do I need to explain anything? No. WT20, CB Series, Asia Cup, IPL 2011, CL T20, World Cup 2011, Test # 1 etcetera. Is it just me who’s seeing something really special with this guy? Dhoni has had this knack of winning and it is always hard to lose a knack. I think and hope this knack continues.

On the other hand, there is Sachin. People back in 2007 said this is Sachin’s last test in Lord’s, now he needs to get a hundred here. I haven’t looked up Cricinfo but I remember he scored 37, then LBWed by Panesar during his so-called last innings at Lord’s. People thought it was all over. Was it though? He’ll be playing tomorrow, at Lord’s. Sachin after that has achieved a lot, like a lot. It’s like he’s made himself from a person to a brand. Sachin today is considered God by more people than back in 2007. His presence might not be divine intervention but this man has the ability to achieve what he wants. He achieved the 200 in early 2010 which he missed back against New Zealand in 2009 and then again against Australia later that year. So if a Lord’s century is in his horizon, he should get one soon and if he gets a century, chances of India loosing this drastically go down.

Coming to England, frankly, I haven’t followed them a lot lately. From what I think, they really need to stick to the basics. If the bowlers hit the right length and batsmen pick the right ball to hit. They can pull it off.

(Yes, that’s like saying you need to do perfect arithmetic to get a cent percent in a fifth grade math test but as I said, I haven’t followed them lately.)

From India’s purview, well it’s hard to say what exactly they need to do but I hope Pravin Kumar is in the side and hope Plaha picks some wickets.

Bad weather conditions are on cards so I hope weather gods consider. Clearly, the match looks a tight one. And a lot more than the # 2000. #2000 is a perfect cherry on the cake though, that sone pe suhaaga.

If it were me, I’d definitely put my money on India (duh!). More because, some of my cousins from Europe are going to be here in a week’s time. They were here when India beat England in 2007. Ha!

Facebook was made for getting laid. Remember The Social Network? Well, if that story is to be believed, yes Facebook was made for getting laid. Okay I don’t mind that. I’d never mind that. But then when I look at my Facebook news feed I find more junk than the trashcan outside. And people cannot get laid by sprouting shit and all on their walls, can they now?

Confused? Well I know you are confused. Cos if you’re not, then this post’s opening failed. On a serious note though, if you are not sure what crap am I talking about don’t you assume the app-shite Facebook has – you know the Mafia f’in wars, the bimbo Farmville, spooky quizzes etcetera. We have a neat browser extension to clean up all that app junk did you know? Here. (See I’m giving tech advice even in a rant blog. Yes I know; thank you, thank you).

Anyhoo, I’m talking about the crummy and pouty and sad and lull statuses bum people put. You know the ones copied from the one and only, status f’in shuffle*. If you’re not aware about status shuffle, perhaps you don’t update your statuses regularly. But if you do update your statuses regularly and still don’t know about status shuffle, you’re a god. Mind me, GOD. No pun at all, no dog. But God. Honest. If you seriously don’t know about status shuffle, it’s a simple app where one can browse and then copy paste (duh!) statuses. Statuses are categorized too. Wow.  And that’s what wets the thirteen years old these days. And also wets the twenty-ish year olds with brains of thirteen years olds. Girls, boys, etcetera, everyone feels putting them is somehow sheeny. I say it’s more like Charlie Sheen.

Bad pun. I know. Sorry.

But coming back to the point, I guess those Charlie Sheens think that they might get laid putting up such torturous content. Well if you do, no hotshot you cannot. Instead your posts will end up in the “hidden posts” section of Facebook. True story.  You may ask, do I mean to say people are not allowed to express themselves at Facebook? No dude, no. Dare you misunderstand me. Facebook is for expressing yourself, express. Go, speak. However, not being able to express yourself and then using status shuffle is seriously wussy. Please, don’t do that. No one should do that. Not even Daryl Harper.

Alright yeah, I get it. Your crush crushed you. But don’t you dare think she’s ever gonna take you back if you put up such stuff. Forget it. And anyway, you cannot be this lame and harass people in your friend list. A lil secret for ya, two years down the lane, for a couple of weeks, I actually used to do that. Put up such statuses. But then those few weeks later, I came across Lamebook. And by god, it changed me.

(Hey champ if you think one of my statuses popped up on Lamebook or what; no, nothing like that happened. It’s just that one intelligent champ just like you once said, A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own.)

You know if it weren’t for such bum people there wouldn’t have been a Lamebook existing. Status Shuffle would have vented out its operations and perhaps, there might not have been a Facebook, and everyone would still be bumming on MySpace with Lady Gaga.

But sadly, there are such bum people. And there is Facebook with Lady Gaga’s page having the second most number of likes. And MySpace was sold for $35m with Justin Timberlake as its part owner. So the world is not what I thought it could have been.

Facebook is there. And it was made for getting laid. Please let it be so. Make people laugh. Using Status Shuffle for funny statuses is still okay. Go ahead, make people smile. Put up your own emotions. No problem. But don’t tell this status’ emotion matches mine. How could that ever be possible? At times might be, but still NO. Put up lyrics. Good ones. And make puns. Make them. Do not status shuffle.

Facebook was made for getting laid. Don’t make it sleazy. If you don’t believe, watch the following clip featuring Mark Zuckerberg and Eduardo Saverin.

*Now I don’t know but just in case if status shuffle got defunct or lost its’ #1 spot as status app, replace it with whatever similar app there is. Everything such subtracts, names barely matter.

Tears came out when bad memories of 2007 came haunting back at me – when I remembered Sachin, Dravid and Ganguly – all looking so helpless unable to do a thing to escape from the inevitable. Tears doubled when I remembered about Ramprakash and Raju. Ramprakash, a seventeen year old from Bihar, suffered a heart attack after India lost to Bangladesh, he died; and Raju, thirty two year old from Hyderabad, lost his life by a heart attack when India lost to Sri Lanka in Port of Spain – that loss which virtually bought India’s campaign at 2007 world cup to an end.

More than anything else it felt weirdly good. Felt like an emotional victory. Felt like an end of the longest wait and the beginning of an epic. It literally felt like your secret crush telling you “I love you honey!” Exactly it felt like that! For a guy like me who is never interested in burning a small cracker even after my family being intensely engaged in a three generation long fireworks trade, yesterday I wanted to celebrate with fireworks. And I did.

I never understood the idea of going out on the streets, crowding them, wasting fuel, shouting and coming back home. But yesterday this game made me do that too. And it made me one of those maniacs who shouted for being happy – it made me a woo guy! The celebrations on the streets were insanely insane. No wonder such celebrations beat the shit out of every other celebration you can think about in the entire world.

No Deepawali, no New Year and no Christmas can do what cricket can do to the whole of India and the Indians. The crowds here in Ahmedabad beat those of Times Square during New Year eve. And not just Ahmedabad, it was everywhere. It was viral. It was crazy! Abhishek Bachchan had to jump out from the sun roof of his car to make way out of his residence. He acknowledged the fans and then for next five minutes stood outside the roof clearing the traffic so that Amitabh can drive out the car on the main road. (I’m telling this because Bachchans pay for a Z-grade security protocol detail!) That was not it – Ahmedabad’s famous landmark, the Jhansi ki Rani statue too didn’t survive the might of crowd and there were people all over the Rani and her horse!

The celebrations went on for the entire night. And why not, we won something that we longed for and we won it DESERVIGNLY, fuckers! Yes we did it and that by no mental disintegration, by no stupid sledging, but by playing within the spirits. We won it for India – that India which is generous true and humble. We won it for those Raju and Ramprakash who died after seeing India lose in 2007. We won it for Sachin. And we won it for ourselves – we, a billion plus proud Indians.

Sounds melodramatic, ain’t it? But that’s the way it is my friends. That’s the charm of my country and that’s how we are. Cricket is not called a religion just for the sake of calling. It felt like getting independence once again. Indeed the crowds during 15^th August 1947 would have been like yesterday night. And I’m proud reliving those kinds of moments!

Speaking of MS Dhoni, a captain who now has almost every cup cricket has to offer was our man that mattered – and not just yesterday – throughout the last four years when India climbed the steps to glory. Although he might have made decisions that popped eyeballs, dropped jaws and infuriated critics and fans; he in the end made it entirely count. Yes, making Ashish Nehra bowl the last over was stupid but then so was making Joginder Sharma do that back in World T20 2007. But the latter worked and if destiny had allowed, the former could have worked like a charm as well.

His attitude at the presentation was remarkable. Yes, it was a bit arrogant and a bit proud – but remarkable in the way it was. It was exactly what Shastri told; ‘the win was a good way to tell the media and the critics to SHUT UP!’

Dhoni, as everyone knew had a charm of himself. He is a guy who barely gets wet about anything –he’s cool, he’s calm and he has his own tactics to give and make his team give a cent percent. And more often than not he succeeds in doing so. Yesterday when it mattered, he smashed 91 off 78 and took his team to the target. That is MSD for you.

There were other contributions of course, and Sachin too (!) but with my present state of mind, it’s difficult to decipher what happened. It’s difficult to analyse cos if I do that, all I’d say is “India India India!”

On a concluding note however, I’d like to thank Gary Kirsten and his support staff because for one this wouldn’t have been possible without his constant efforts and would also thank to the generous and humble person inside of him – that person who knew about every shit in the administrative part of the game in India but did fantastically well to keep himself away from that and continued doing his job marvelously.

I joined in. And soon the team swelled to six. Then to ten and now we’ve a full-fledged team of fifteen members working with hardcore determination, powered with the desire to succeed. When things started looking in shape, we decided to make the formal announcement of this next big thing – and hence we launched our Facebook page last evening.

Youth Connect, an initiative of Youth Unplugged group, is the next big thing I’m talking about. So what is Youth Connect, you may ask.

Youth Connect is an upcoming youth magazine, the first Youth magazine in the state of Gujarat.

Can you be a lil more specific?

Yes, for sure. Youth Connect is the one of the very few youth magazines in India. It is made from within the system – i.e. Youth making content for Youth. Every person in the team is an amateur in his/her field of expertise…

Wait… you said team, who are the others?

There’s Divesh as our CEO, Nijansh as Director of Marketing, Sahil as Director of Advertisement, Parth and Darshil as my associate editors and me myself as editor in chief. Above us, there’s a supporting team comprising of designers, photographers, content writers and marketeers.

Don’t you guys have studies to cope with?

Yes. We have our own under-graduate or post-graduate courses to look out for, but Youth Connect is our dream and hence, it doesn’t get difficult. With a team of fifteen, we have enough backups during examinations and submissions. Besides, as they say, no one ever has time, you have to manage time!

Okay hotshot, so tell me more about Youth Connect. So far, nothing special – only another magazine that I can think of.

Youth Connect is a magazine that connects with the youth, gives them a platform and in the end induces readership in a region where readership is just not good enough. Youth Connect is based on the principle of ­– “You Speak. We Publish”. In simple words, a significant share of content comes from our readers and above all that, we’ve a diverse kind of content that is created to suit every reader’s taste. Youth Connect is YOUR magazine, that’s what it is!

When is it due for launch?

This summer.

Clean! So how much do you charge for a copy?

For now, prints of Youth Connect will be distributed complimentarily in various parts of Gujarat state and the electronic version will be available for free download.

Only Gujarat?

For now! Soon we will cover entire Gujarat and then cover as far as we can. However as I said, our electronic versions (emags) will be available for free download, so keep following us for all the developments.

How can I follow you guys?

We’ve an official page that launched yesterday. You can join us there – http://facebook.com/YouthConnectMag.

Okay I can do that!

Thank you!

…

Youth Connect, as I suggested, is coming soon this summer. Contact me for any more details. Join us today, spread and share the word, and stay connected to the most dedicated youth start up from Ahmedabad!

Cheers.

Getting into the details, there are two players playing this game and for those two, this match could prove to be one of the most important games in their respective careers. Either of Ricky Ponting and Sachin Tendulkar will play their last world cup game, most probably. The one losing will have a major heartbreak. Ponting thenwill have all the reasons to wrap his limited overs’ career; Sachin on the other hand will fail to achieve his dream of holding the world cup, and probably could finish his one-day career too, if he so opts.

Understanding why this is a crunch game doesn’t require a pre-school certification but on whom the pressure is huge is difficult to decipher. Australia is having a shot at their fifth world cup title, is the defending champion, and is known to easily win big matches of world cups. India on the other side was the tournament favorite, the home side, and the one with the better form. So pressure on which side’s more? None’s I guess; and that’s why it’s called a crunch game. Neither of the side from the two has any huge advantages.

India maybe has a home advantage. But it’s better not to have one because it might turn tables when the home side loses even the slightest of the momentum. Having said that, it’s not easy to rise from the dead if the crowd’s cheering your opposition. Australia might have a strong pace attack but often a pace attack fails to do the trick in sub-continent conditions. The pace is good if there’s a lot of swing – which won’t be the case here in dry Ahmedabad. It’s however necessary to have a bunch of good spinners – which India has. But then Australia doesn’t lack decent spinners. Yes, they might be ordinary but then this is cricket, and you just cannot predict a thing.

And the batting – well no team’s batting is in perfect shape. Both teams have shown signs of fragility in their middle orders, which isn’t a good sign. India’s line up, even without Sehwag – who might not play tomorrow – looks much better than Australia’s; but it’s important for that batting to click. Despite that fact, Australia’s batting order isn’t bad at all. If the top four click, they still have that potential to rip apart the opposition.

For India, Sehwag not playing will be a blow and let’s consider the worst case scenario that he doesn’t play, it will be important for the opening pair to zip through the early overs. Indian batting has this usual problem – if the openers don’t play well, the others barely contribute. So if Sachin and Gambhir get going for let’s say eighty-hundred runs, India might get that early advantage. And then, it’s not the top four that’s India’s worry. India’s major problem here is the final ten overs where they’ve failed to capitalize consistently – an art which they were masters at until the start of this tournament. And so goes for Australia, their middle order has made look the openers’ contribution ordinary- something they weren’t known for, let’s say, until last 18 months.

On the same note, batting powerplay will be crucial for both sides. And in my opinion, it’s best to delay it to the forty fifth – not of course if you’re five down after thirty overs. In that 5 down in 30 overs scenario, a side should take it immediately. It’s important to take it when the side’s got the momentum – which India has failed to decide. Against South Africa, Gambhir and Sachin had literally slowed down to those limits that taking a powerplay then would have surely hampered their mindset. And it did.

And finally there’s toss. Ahmedabad doesn’t have much dew in these months. And the daytime temperatures are around 40-42 degrees centigrade. So it’s best to bat first, put up the score on the board and bowl to your strengths later in the day. And then it is always better to bat first in crunch games and just because of that, toss will be essential.  Nevertheless if a team comes in to chase with enough balls, a 300+ score wouldn’t be that hard to chase, given the fact that the opposition bowling is ordinary. Sri Lanka has done it. India has too.

And besides all the analysis and expectations, there’s all chance one team falters like a pack of cards and the match becomes one way traffic – more chances are India does that, because they’re used to falter in big games. But that doesn’t mean Australia can’t falter.

Watch out for this game, I expect it to be the best game of the tournament yet. And all the analysis aside, I want India to win this. If we ever had to do, now it is! I don’t give a damn about whom they play or whom they make bowl the fiftieth; I just want India to win the next three games. I want the fucking cup to stay in India. I want it desperately!

Okay maybe that for an opening was harsh. But I found it hard to give my music piece an opening so I thought why not use some balls and shit? If you’re reading this line boasting a smile (no matter from why it comes), I think that opening worked. Or did it?

Gorgeous, ain't she?

Enough of crap I guess. We shall start, shall we?

Day before yesterday I downloaded Avril’s latest album, Goodbye Lullaby, minutes before I got to bed. Get this, the album is scheduled for an official launch on March, the 8^th and it leaked this Sunday.

Firstly, how is a leak even possible I ask? I mean how one can leak the album unless the label (Music Company) has kept it on unreliable channels which are easy to manipulate?

Give it a thought. It’s very simple. To me – a layman as far music album production goes – an artist would approach a label or the other way round, or according to contractual obligations an artist decides to create a new album. The artist then starts composing and writing songs with the help of others on the team, of course.

Then they record. The album is then processed. So far so good, eh?

Then they prepare CDs, DVDs, BRs, and of course high quality mp3 versions to sell them online. They do promotions, ads, lauches et cetera to wet the fans. Okay? Now a month to go for the release, and BOOM, the pirate world has got the access to the next big album.

How?

Do you think that that is possible unless someone from the record company or the artist’s end uploaded the album/songs? No freaking way it is!

Okay, consider that my presumption is bollocks. So I ask, why only do the next big albums leak and not the small, funny and shit ones? Remember LP’s Minutes to Midnight – leaked a fortnight before launch.

Damn companies leak their own albums and then they say Piracy hurts. The fuck it does man; but it wouldn’t have started on the first place if you didn’t kept charging insanely for every song you sold. You guys hit yourselves in the foot and blame anonymous uploaders then? Douchebags!

They get pre-launch publicity and that gels up the album sales. Like this piece itself – it is publicizing the album a week before its launch. Damn! And free initial publicity is all companies look for.

Bravo.

Enough of cursing the industry; I think high time we talked about the album. To start, it’s great to say the least. The only officially released number What the Hell has already hit top10s of various charts and it caught my attention the very moment it was launched.

What the Hell shows a different Avril – a fun, peppy chick who isn’t acting weird like she does when she sings the likes of Innocence and When you’re gone ­– cause for one, when she sung those latter numbers, she was just 22 for chrissake. Those didn’t suit her. What the Hell suits her, pronto!

Speaking of other songs, there are 13 others. Following her reputation of varied songs in one album, Goodbye Lullaby boasts songs from various genres and it would be hard to classify the album in one, two or for that matter, three genres.

A few songs like Push, and Remember When are a few which my ears have started loving – maybe because that’s the type of music. What type you may ask.

I can’t say, I’ve never understood music genres and never will.

Then there is Wish you were here, Stop Standing there and Everybody hurts, which will, I guess, also get a good fan following. And finally there’s an extended version of Alice, the song Avril made for the 2010 film Almost Alice.

The album also has Avril’s fragrance’s commercial song Black Star. Apparently, she wrote this song (not exactly a song because it lasts only a minute and half) during the Best Damn tour in 2007 and is being used in commercials since past two years.

On a concluding note, the album is something that will beloved by Avril fans. I do. And for others, if you are not an Avril fan, see this.

For now you can enjoy Black Star.

So what’s with the results, you may ask. You might also say, against my thought processes, that the results of third and fifth semesters are already declared.

Yeah man, but I am a first sem student and we’re still on the hook.

Are you expecting things to go haywire?

I’m sure Math and Mechanics of Solids will be stuffy. As far as the other subjects go, I’ll pass with black and white colors.

Well there’s always ATKT no?

Yes. But marks are not what I fear. Well in a sense yes; but then again, that’s not why I’m writing this post.

Seriously, dude, why are you wasting my time?

No. It’s simple. Day before yesterday I saw third sem results coming out and I knew now is our chance to get grilled. Then yesterday, after I entered my block in the campus, a bunch of friends successfully fooled me that the results were out. I choked for fifteen minutes before they told the truth. Then I fooled the rest of the class, with the others, for the rest of the lecture.

And then, moments ago, I got a call from a friend who suggested the results will be out within the next two hours.

I choked again. But then through various sources, I realized that that was also a sulky rumor. That’s not the end of it; l I’m hearing that the results might come out on the 26^th. Meaning to say, all chances that my plans to watch India England game on 27^th in high spirits will go amiss.

I’m literally confused, and so is my ass, which is tired of the constant rumors.

Okay, whatever you say. And mind you, everyone’s going through that. That’s why you wrote this blog post? Dumbass!

No that’s not why I wrote this post. My point is, with thousands of students studying under GTU, can’t GTU pre-declare dates of results, eh?

I mean, right now whenever the results come out, they’re a notch more than a shock. They can come at this moment, or they might take a month from now. Results are dreadful, more so when a few exams didn’t go the right way and those few exams never go the right way! And keeping thousands of students on the hook wondering when the results will be out is bad. Very, very bad.

GTU instead should take help of today’s thick and fast means of communication and at least take the initiative of putting up the dates of results a few days before they actually declare them. I mean they’ve a fully functional (sort of) website, can’t they just put a few dates?

Yes they can, but the problem is in the system. Yes, the system – it has done it once again leaving everyone else in tatters. The problem actually is, even GTU isn’t sure when they’ll come up with results and simply so, they are unable to put up the dates. Lamers!

Universities were better in twentieth century. With education turning into a powerful commercial operative today; universities (even government ran unis) are mystical, perplexed and bewildered, and truth be told, they want their students to be the same.

Bravo, system. Bravo!

Did he fall asleep?

No, worst.

Did he stare continuously at a sexy hot representative from France?

Nuh uh, still worst.

Did he gulp some in booze there?

Hey that’s not something that shames a nation. All reps do that. (They need some entertainment no!)

So wtf the fuck did he do? Tell me already!

Okay. I’ll tell ya. That bullcrap minister, instead of reading the speech prepared for him by his far better, far more intelligent, far more responsible assistants, read out the speech of the Portuguese minister. Oh yeah, of Portugal.

His introductory statements itself implied he was somewhere on the wrong path but that dada kept on reading that wrong speech for next three fucking minutes.

Yes, all those three minutes.

And then,  far more better, far more intelligent, far more responsible representative of India at the UN, Hardeep Kaur, interrupted and pointed out that he was reading other nation’s shit and not his own. The rep turned Krishna’s notes and Krishna babbled again.

This time, I bet, everyone must have been laughing on Krishna, and of course on India, instead of listening to the speech.

The Portuguese shit he read included the following lines…

On a more personal note, allow me to express my profound satisfaction regarding the happy coincidence of having two members of the Portuguese Speaking Countries (CPLP), Brazil and Portugal, together here today.

Krishna did tender a statement later and that again, made me laugh.

There was nothing wrong in it, there were so many papers spread in front of me so by mistake the wrong speech was taken out. Unfortunately, it happened.

Seriously, Krishna? That’s all you’ve got? “Nothing wrong in it” my foot. Clearly, the booze had to impact badly on someone out there. That day wasn’t Krishna’s best I suppose.

The ruling party is defending him and the opposition, on the other hand, is all over the place like a parasite asking what if Krishna instead of Portuguese, read out the statement of either Pakistan or perhaps China – those statements that could’ve absolutely went against the Indian ideologies?

And yes, I clearly back the opposition’s questions. What if?

Anyway, I don’t see anything happening and I don’t think anything will. Just like all other blunders, this will surface soon once the media starts receiving some checks from the congress. All you can do is cherish the video right now, get some inspiration off it and think about taking politics perhaps in the near future to clean up the mess.

If in case you wondered how did he get the Portuguese speech on his table, Ill explain. The Portuguese minister decided to speak extempore and hence all nation’s reps were handed out a copy of the Portuguese speech.